The Morning: Satisfying vs. Productive

The endless struggle to feel good about how we spend our weekends.

View in browser|nytimes.com November 16, 2024 By Melissa Kirsch Good morning. Weekends are, ostensibly, for relaxation, but the impulse to make every moment productive can make guilt-free leisure a challenge. María Jesús Contreras Game plans What constitutes a satisfying weekend day? Is it one in which you run all the errands and finish all the tasks that accumulated in the course of the week that was? Or is it a day devoted to recreation, a clearly demarcated zone of you time: sleep in, lingering coffee hour, maybe a family outing, dinner with friends? Does it include some delicate balance of decompression and preparation that you only know when you achieve it? I used the word "satisfying" above, but I originally had "productive." A productive day implies a day in which you got some things done, a certain degree of industry. Whereas a satisfying day might be one in which you didn't necessarily do very much at all, but the contents of the day seem totally appropriate given any number of factors: the weather, the mood and mind-set of the participants, the complexion of the days leading up to it, the forecasted events of the days to come. It can be hard sometimes, for those of us who are perpetually running over a mental list of things to do, things undone, to accept a day in which no boxes got checked off to qualify as productive. That list. An eternal scroll where any completed task is immediately replaced by another to be done, a constantly computing ledger that always runs a deficit. I've been trying to ignore the master mental to-do list, to see it for what it is: It's really a secret record of failure, disguised as a high achiever's rigorous planning tool, kept by someone (me!) who's not overly invested in my success. An impressive lifelong project, maybe, but what about it is satisfying, what about it is creative or joyful or helping anyone or anything? It gives one an illusion of control, as in the Mary Oliver poem "I Worried": "I worried a lot. Will the garden grow, will the rivers / flow in the right direction, will the earth turn / as it was taught, and if not how shall / I correct it?" The handwritten to-do list is a far more useful tool. I like to make a list that includes real chores (take the car for inspection, wash the windows) and things I'd like to do that aren't necessarily arduous (lower-body workout, make soup) but feel like drudgery when they're allowed to swirl around in my brain with other unpleasant travails. Just creating a short, achievable to-do list can make an otherwise amorphous weekend day feel structured, can quiet the inner critic. My friend Peter mused recently that it might be interesting to devote a to-do list to only pleasurable activities: have pancakes, sit on the stoop in the sun, get a hot dog, watch a true-crime docuseries, nap. I wondered if putting something on a list automatically makes it a chore. I've marveled at how my inner taskmaster and inner brat seem to always be doing battle, such that I can get perverse joy out of canceling plans I've been looking forward to for weeks. I imagine I could turn even a list of unalloyed fun into a site of conflict. It's the control thing, again. What would constitute a satisfying day today? I think just asking the question sets one up for success. We spend a lot of time ruing the things we didn't get done after the fact, but maybe more intention is what's in order. How do you want to feel come bedtime? What things do you need to do, what plans do you need to make or break, in order to get there? THE WEEK IN CULTURE Jake Paul, right, easily won Friday's heavyweight fight against Mike Tyson. Al Bello/Getty Images For Netflix Film and TV Jake Paul, the 27-year-old YouTuber-turned-boxer, defeated 58-year-old Mike Tyson in a controversial bout that was streamed live on Netflix. Tyson said he agreed to the fight after smoking toad venom. Conan O'Brien will host the next Academy Awards, taking over from Jimmy Kimmel. Craig Melvin, the veteran NBC News host, will succeed Hoda Kotb as an anchor on the "Today" show. "All We Imagine as Light" is an extraordinary drama about three women in Mumbai, our film critic writes. Music The country and hip-hop singer Shaboozey, who was just nominated for five Grammys, released a new song, Pitchfork reports. Another country star, Tyler Childers, announced a 2025 tour. After four decades in rock, Kim Deal of Pixies and the Breeders is finally going solo. Food T Magazine released its list of the 25 most influential cookbooks of the last 100 years. A restaurant team is trying to revive an Upper East Side celebrity hangout of the past, Le Veau d'Or. Read a review. More Culture The Metropolitan Museum of Art is opening an exhibit exploring the relationship among Black artists, musicians and intellectuals to ancient Egyptian culture. Our critic calls it an "unusual and audacious." "Chicken Shop Date" is reviving the art of talk-show flirtation. A new book about Eve Babitz and Joan Didion, two famous and competitive writers who documented the magic of California, is coming out soon. The government wants you to have more potlucks with your neighbors to reduce loneliness. THE LATEST NEWS Trump Administration Matt Gaetz at the Republican convention last summer. Todd Heisler/The New York Times Donald Trump, determined not to make the staffing mistakes that he feels hindered his first term, is picking Cabinet nominees for their loyalty — with little regard to whether the Senate will confirm them. House Speaker Mike Johnson opposes releasing a damaging ethics report about Matt Gaetz, Trump's pick for attorney general. Senators of both parties have demanded to see it. Trump plans to end temporary legal status for about one million immigrants from Haiti, Venezuela, Ukraine and other dangerous countries. Karoline Leavitt, the Trump campaign's press secretary, will become the White House press secretary. At 27, she will be the youngest-ever person in the role. Mike Pence said Republican senators should reject Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s nomination to become secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services, citing Kennedy's support for abortion rights. Kennedy's effort to eliminate processed foods, artificial colorings and chemicals could face resistance from Republican lawmakers who support the multibillion-dollar food industry. Other Big Stories Olaf Scholz, Germany's chancellor, spoke with Vladimir Putin. German officials said the call, Putin's first with a major Western leader in years, focused on ending Russia's war in Ukraine. Texas' Supreme Court cleared the way for the state to execute Robert Roberson. Lawmakers of both parties halted the execution last month, questioning the evidence used to convict Roberson of killing his 2-year-old daughter. Fugitives wanted by Interpol, the international police organization, escaped justice by paying corrupt officials in Moldova to exploit rules meant to protect asylum seekers. Global climate summits used to shun nuclear power. This year, more countries are embracing it, pledging to build nuclear reactors to generate electricity without planet-warming emissions. CULTURE CALENDAR By Desiree Ibekwe 🎥 "Gladiator II" (Friday): The first "Gladiator" movie was pure camp and escapism. More than two decades later, its sequel — starring Paul Mescal, Pedro Pascal and Denzel Washington — is almost here. My personal excitement is twofold: First, the weather here in Britain is getting predictably pretty bleak, and a Roman sword fight could really lift the mood. Second, it's an opportunity to see Mescal, who has had the market cornered on complex yet ordinary men, go big. While you wait, I recommend this piece about the movie's production design (there will be sharks in the Colosseum!). RECIPE OF THE WEEK Christopher Testani for The New York Times By Melissa Clark Chili When was the last time you simmered up a pot of spicy, classic chili? Ali Slagle's hearty recipe is full of beans, ground meat and chiles, all brightened with a splash of cider vinegar at the end. It does involve some amount of chopping and time to make. But the results are well worth it, and leftovers taste even better the next day (or, freeze any extra for future winter meals). Ali calls for ground beef here, but feel free to substitute turkey, chicken, pork or plant-based ground meat. Then serve bowls of it topped liberally with grated Cheddar, sour cream, hot sauce and chopped onion. It will warm you right up. T MAGAZINE Rinko Kawauchi Click the cover image above to read this weekend's issue of T, The Times Style Magazine. REAL ESTATE Mallory and David Gonzalez with their son, Rainer, in Boston. Sophie Park for The New York Times The Hunt: A young family wanted a forever home in Boston. Which one did they pick? Play our game. What you get for $2 million in the Cayman Islands: A four-bedroom Balinese-style retreat, a three-bedroom Caribbean-style house near the beach, and a contemporary four-bedroom home in a gated community. Property taxes: See where they are rising most. LIVING Crying: We're the only species to do it. Why? Travel: People are going all over the world to find sex parties. Caregiving: Older, unmarried couples are navigating the obligations of aging with a partner. Prescription: Ozempic could prevent diabetes. Should it be used for that? ADVICE FROM WIRECUTTER The best gifts to buy yourself As we head into the hustle of the holidays, don't forget to put yourself on your shopping list. Wirecutter's gift-giving experts have rounded up the best things we've found, loved, and then bought for ourselves. These presents — including a set of excellent perfumes, a luxurious moisturizing bar, a box of Swedish candies and a set of soft and flirty pajamas — have all made our lives a little more luxe, beautiful and better. Because what's the use in being a good gift giver if the recipient isn't sometimes yourself? — Samantha Schoech GAME OF THE WEEK Jayson Tatum, left, of the Boston Celtics; Donovan Mitchell, right, of the Cleveland Cavaliers. Sarah Stier/Getty Images, Jesse D. Garrabrant/NBAE via Getty Images Cleveland Cavaliers vs. Boston Celtics, N.B.A.: The Cavs have begun this season 14-0, one of the hottest starts in N.B.A. history. And the Celtics, last year's champions, aren't far behind them. These teams have the league's two best offenses, as well as top-ten defenses, and this matchup has a bit extra flair because it's part of the league's in-season tournament, now called the N.B.A. Cup. So long as you don't find the Technicolor court too distracting, it should be a good watch. Tuesday, 7 p.m. Eastern on TNT NOW TIME TO PLAY Here is today's Spelling Bee. Yesterday's pangram was palmetto. Take the news quiz to see how well you followed this week's headlines. And here are today's Mini Crossword, Wordle, Sudoku, Connections and Strands. Thanks for spending part of your weekend with The Times. — Melissa Sign up here to get this newsletter in your inbox. Reach our team at themorning@nytimes.com. Editor: David Leonhardt Deputy Editor: Adam B. Kushner News Editor: Tom Wright-Piersanti Associate Editor: Lauren Jackson News Staff: Desiree Ibekwe, Sean Kawasaki-Culligan, Brent Lewis, German Lopez, Ian Prasad Philbrick, Ashley Wu News Assistant: Lyna Bentahar Saturday Writer: Melissa Kirsch Need help? Review our newsletter help page or contact us for assistance. You received this email because you signed up for the Morning newsletter from The New York Times, or as part of your New York Times account. To stop receiving The Morning, unsubscribe. To opt out of other promotional emails from The Times, including those regarding The Athletic, manage your email settings. To opt out of updates and offers sent from The Athletic, submit a request. Subscribe to The TimesGet The New York Times app Connect with us on: Change Your EmailPrivacy PolicyContact UsCalifornia Notices The New York Times Company. 620 Eighth Avenue New York, NY 10018